Shattered Mind
by Fairykick
Summary: Angering a pixie is not the best idea. It decides to play a cruel game with one of them exposing his darkest secrets to the rest, how will this go?


**Shattered mind**

Usopp took out a small shining stone he had found on the last island and put it on the kitchen table as he continued to empty his small bag.

"Usopp don't put your trash on the table!" Sanji called.

"Just a sec, i'm just looking for something." Sanji rolled his eyes as he continued to work the dough at his hands.

As Usopp was filling the table with his things Zoro entered and asked Sanji for a cloth.

"What do you need it for?"

"Just need to wipe the hilt clean on Wado." Zoro said casually as Sanji pointed to where the cloths were.

Zoro took one and then sat at the table. He roughly moved Usopps things away so he could put his sword on the table.

"Hey!" Usopp said angrily. Zoro ignored him and moved some more stuff. All three of the men jumped in surprise as they heard a loud shriek.

"That hurt!"

Zoro and Usopp looked surprised as that little stone transformed and turned into a pixie.

"I will make you pay for that!" The pixie said as it pointed at Zoro rudely.

"I didn't know you were there." He defended himself.

"You did that to me so you could make space for that thing." The pixie growled at him and then kicked the sword.

"Don't touch it!" Zoro yelled and put his hand protectively on the sword.

"I do what I want and I don't like you!"

"Please don't fight." Usopp begged.

"Fine, fine I won't start a fight… then what about we play a game?"

"A game?" Usopp asked.

Sanji not saying a word just observed from his place as he made his bread.

The pixie used its wings and flew up in front of Zoro's face.

"You have a lot of good material, I especially like those secrets of yours." The pixie gave an evil grin. "Since I dislike you this game will be about unveiling your secrets in the most embarrassing way." It whispered to him.

The moment he was about to reply the pixie put its finger to his forehead and a convulsion went through his body. Usopp and Sanji saw his eye roll backwards and then he fell limp to the floor his head making a loud thud as it made contact with the wooden planks.

"Zoro!" Usopp called out.

"Usopp call Chopper and the others." While Usopp ran out and called for the others Sanji gave the pixie a wary look. It was flying around Zoro, laughing at him and making gestures.

When the others entered he quickly explained. "We seem to have a guest and it wants to play a game with us."

"Yay a game!" Luffy shouted.

"What happened to Zoro?" Chopper asked as he ran to check on the man.

The little pixie explained. "Since we're having a game, we needed a playground. The game will be about finding that person."

"But isn't he already here?" Nami asked.

"Not his person, his conscious, you see I sent it away."

"Sent it where?" Usopp asked.

"Where else but into his own mind." The pixie laughed evilly.

"So what are the conditions for this game." Robin asked.

"I never thought you would ask, hihihi, all you need to do is find him and convince him to come back out with you again. If you do, you win. Really simple."

"Can we trust this thing?" Franky asked suspiciously.

"This is a stone pixie." Robin exclaimed. "Usopp asked me to look it up at the last island where he found it. After playing a game the pixie loses its powers and goes back to wherever it originally came from."

"So what happens if we don't win?" Nami asked.

"You will all wake up but that person won't." The pixie said and shrugged it's shoulders.

"Our time limit?" Brook asked.

"Until he becomes unreachable and you will all be kicked out from his mind."

"Then let's do this! Let's bring back Zoro!" Luffy shouted happily.

Sanji quickly washed his hands and put his work aside before he joined the others by taking a comfortable position on the floor. They had no idea of how long this would take so they made sure the ship would be self going for a while at least.

"We're ready!" Nami called as she shared a look with the rest.

"Hehehe then here we go!" Just before they all lost consciousness they heard the pixie say to himself. "How fun it will be to make him suffer."

Next thing they knew they were all together in a black space, standing over nothingness.

"So this is Zoro's mind." Nami said thoughtfully.

"Personally I think it's gross." Sanji said.

"Look over there!" Brook shouted as he saw something behind them. They all turned around to find a much smaller version of Zoro. In the vast darkness he sat on a rock and looked down on a wooden sword on the ground in front of him. He wore a white dirty t-shirt and worn out blue pants.

"He's just a child." Nami said surprised. The little Zoro didn't notice them until they were right in front of him and only looked up when they spoke to him.

His face was deep in thought and he looked angry as he scratched his head.

"Zoro!" Luffy yelled happily. "We found you!" The little boy jumped and looked scared at them before turning angry.

"Who are you? What are you doing in here? You're not allowed to be in here! Get out! Get out! Get out!" He shouted.

The group took a step back from his fierce response. "Calm down, we didn't mean to intrude." Robin said carefully.

"He wouldn't want you here! It's our secret! You're not allowed to take her memory from us get out!" He screamed again and then started to run away. When he was out of sight the evil laugh of the pixie could be heard and then they were suddenly standing in a barn.

The sun had just gone up and it shined strongly through the open windows. Moving closer to the sound of something moving around they ended up looking at a small Zoro. He summed to be somewhat the same age as the boy they had met before. Little Zoro was smiling as he turned around in his sleep.

Nami gave a shout as she realized something had passed through her, and correctly a tiny little dog ran up to Zoro and started licking his face.

"Suuuper cool! We're just like ghosts!" Franky shouted as he tried to touch something but his hands just went through. A sleepy Zoro opened his eyes and pet the dog.

"Alright, I'm up, I'm up. You want milk don't you?" He asked the dog before dragging his legs to a bigpail, half his size before carrying it to a cow.

"Hi Betzy, I'm just helping ossan out today." He said as he pet the cow. When he had filled the pail and given some milk to the dog he began to carry the pail towards the main house. Many times he had to stop on the way and rest to catch his breath.

"Yohohoho, if he only new at that time how strong he would become." Brook laughed. The others agreed as they followed Zoro into the house.

"Ossan! Oba! I brought the milk in!" Zoro called.

"Dear boy, are you here again?" an old lady said as she ran from the kitchen followed by an old man. "I told you to sleep in the house if you came by again."

"You know we wouldn't mind you staying here permanently you know." the old man said as he took the milk and carried it to the back of the house.

"You must be starving sit at the table, while I make something real quick."

"Ossan, I can't stay here! It's not my home." Zoro called after the man.

"Then why don't you go back home? Your parents must be worried." Oba asked.

"Tsk, they're not my parents. I hate them." He mumbled as he dug in on the onigiris that she put in front of him.

The old couple gave each other worried looks as Zoro gulped the food down. When he was done he thanked for the meal and was about to say goodbye.

"Now hold on Zoro!" Oba called. "Take off your shirt first before you leave."

"No, i'm fine this time, you don't need to… Ossan stop! Let go of me!" Little Zoro wriggled and turned trying to get out of the man's grip but he was too weak and when they finally managed to get his shirt off the crew got stunned as they saw his bruised body.

"Just as I thought, now hold him there while I get the medicine."

"Seems like that habit goes way back." Chopper said annoyed as Zoro was trying to talk himself out of it and wriggling to get away.

"So now you're all patched up and you're free to go. Are you sure you don't want to stay here." The old woman said sadly.

"Sorry Oba, i'm going to conquer every dojo on this island to make everyone shut up about me. Hehe I already have so many dojo sign." He said and grinned widely.

"Well then be on your way and try not to get so beat up every time."

"It's not my fault! Wherever I go they keep calling me moss head and marimo and I end up fighting with them, I can't help the way I look! I hate this ugly hair!" He said and started to pull at his hair.

"No dear, don't say that, I happen to love your hair." Zoro gave her a look of doubt before jumping out off the ossan's lap.

"Then thank you for the food and see you next time I come around!" He ran to the door and waved happily.

The old couple followed him to the door and waved him off as he started to stroll down a path.

The scenery broke and they were all back to the darkness.

"Sanji, maybe you should stop teasing him so much about his hair, you know." Usopp said.

"Shut up." was the reply he got.

"Sanji, I agree with Usopp, Zoro might be more hurt than what you would think." Chopper said.

"Look there is something over there." Robin said and getting the attention from everyone.

Luffy ran up to it first and said slowly. "I think it's a grave.." Suddenly they were back in a different memory. They stood inside a dojo and witnessed as Zoro made his first appearance there and also how he got so easily defeated by that girl, they then continued following fragments of memories of his time there. How he bonded with the sensei and Kuina and how on that one evening they promised that one of them would become the worlds best swordsman.

On the next memory they saw Zoro train rigorously as a few boys ran up to him.

"What is it?" Zoro asked grumpily.

"It's… It's Kuina, she is dead!" the boys cried.

Zoro stood still for a second before he screamed at them. "That is a lie!" He then took off running towards the dojo. He slid the door open to his sensei's room only to find Kuina on the floor. Her face was covered with a cloth and his sensei was grieving by her side.

"How can you promise me something and die the next day!" He shouted at her corpse before running out, leaving a stunned father in silence.

As they followed Zoro as he sat down by the house many people came and went from the room, all passing by where Zoro had stationed himself. As he heard more and more people retell what had happened the memory turned more grey.

"Did you hear what happened. She fell down some stairs and broke her neck."

"She was at the storage room."

"Why would a girl go there to begin with?"

"Apparently she had gone for her wet stone, to sharpen her sword."

"What in the world could have led her to do that?"

"It's strange…"

"It's strange…"

"In the next memory they got to see how Zoro received Wado Ichimonji and then they were back in the blackness but this time it wasn't silent.

_"MURDERER"_

_"MURDERER"_

_"IT'S YOUR FAULT"_

_"YOU KILLED HER"_

_"MONSTER"_

_"DISPICABLE"_

_HATEFUL"_

_"_What is going on?" Nami called as she looked around in nothingness, trying to figure out where the sound came from.

"I believe this is what Zoro hears in his mind." Robin said sadly.

"_KILLER"_

_"MURDERER"_

Thankfully the voices suddenly all stopped and the strawhats were falling, falling deeper and deeper into Zoro's mind. The next memories they saw was Zoro dueling with Mihawk at the Baratie, which during the whole time the word 'weak' kept echoing around them. After Zoro had made his promise to Luffy they were moved back to the blackness but this time not only the word 'weak' were haunting them there but also a pressure so high they dropped to their knees. It was hard for them to breath as the invisible pressure forced them to submission.

"What is this?" Usopp whined.

"It's the pressure Zoro put on himself after making that promise to me." Luffy said darkly.

And suddenly Zoro was there. This time it was a Zoro from the time they had just seen in the memory. Still the pressure was overwhelming but Zoro took one shaky step after the other. He wore no shirt and the crew could clearly see the long diagonal wound and punctate wound on his chest bleeding.

"Zoro!" Luffy called.

Zoro stopped and looked towards them. "Why are you here?" He asked.

"We came to get you back!" Franky called.

"Back to where?" he replied confused.

"To Sunny where else?" Franky said, this time him confused.

"I can't leave." Zoro replied again.

"Why not!?" Nami asked.

"I need to be stronger."

"We'll help you get stronger."

"He doesn't want your help, we already received too much as it is. Also you're not supposed to be here."He said the last angrily before he turned around and walked away with shaky steps.

As he disappeared so did the pressure and the crew could stand up again.

The next memory they saw was in loguetown. It was a real strange one as they were seeing everything from his eyes. It was disturbing as it seemed the streets were really moving and it was impossible to see from which direction they had come. They kept going from memory to memory like this with the situation of Zoro trying to navigate.

"I feel sick." Usopp complained.

"And dizzy." Chopper added.

"Don't forget the headache." Nami said tiredly.

"That embarrassment was next level." Franky cried and wiped a tear.

"Oh! Isn't that the girl we saw before?" Luffy shouted and pointed at Tashigi.

"She looks very similar to her, but I wouldn't say they're the same person." Robin said.

"Seems like moss head looks quite shocked." Sanji added in quietly as they watched the whole Loguetown memory.

They were back in the darkness they could feel the heaviness and pressure around them but somehow they were now excluded from feeling it. Still the voices they had heard before could be heard in the background. Then they could finally see him, Zoro sat slouched against a wall with his knees to his chest and cried.

"Zoro?" Luffy asked carefully as they slowly moved closer.

"Maybe I didn't kill her. Could it have been her? But she was different..."

**"Of course it wasn't her, you killed her, or did you forget?" **Zoro's menacing voice could be heard loudly around them.

"But they looked so alike!"

"Always trying to put your guilt away... To find an easy solution."

"No!"

"Coward!"

"Stop it!"

"Weakling!"

"Go away!"

"I will never go away, I'm you Zoro and you're me and we killed her, her death is on us."

"Shut up!" He cried harder into his hands as the voice around them got louder, cackling and repeating murderer and on our hands.

"Zoro!" Luffy called again as he shook the man's shoulders. The younger Zoro jumped at the contact and looked at Luffy startled.

"Luffy? Everyone? What are you doing here? How did you get here? You're not supposed to be here!"

"Zoro calm down, we're here to get you."

"No you can't. You've seen too much. He will be so sad to know you've seen all this."

"Who are you talking about?" Franky asked very frustrated.

"Me.." Zoro answered. "Now please leave."

"We can't leave without you." Nami yelled.

"Leave me alone!" Zoro cried and pushed Luffy off him. He cried harder and harder and as he did he seemed to get further and further away from them.

"Zoro!" Luffy shouted but in no time they were in another memory.

And they continued going from memory to memory, delving deeper and deeper in their swordsman's mind.

"I don't want to see anymore!" Franky said with anger after having seen what had happened at thriller bark.

"I never knew he was feeling this depressed." Chopper said sadly.

"It's not your fault Chopper. Zoro has been very good at concealing it. None of us never had a clue." Robin said also her sad.

All around them the word 'weak' echoed and in the darkness Zoro sat and held his body as he cried.

By now they all looked sad as they were unable to reach out to Zoro. In the next memory they got to see Sabaody and follow Zoro to Kuraigana Island. Luffy clenched his fists hard when he saw Zoro bow his head low to his sworn enemy.

When they were back in the darkness they saw a Zoro that looked the same as their present one. He was crouched against a wall and was covering his ears against the murmurs in the darkness.

**"Weak, murderer, shameless, on our hands, our fault, pride less, losing an eye, murderer, weak, hateful, moss head, marimo, shameless, weak, our fault, directionless idiot."**

Next they were on The Going Merry but they immediately saw that this time something was different.

"Am I wrong saying that this does not seem to be a memory?" Brook asked.

"I believe this is our Zoro." Robin said with hope.

The sky was grey but the sea calm and nothing could be seen as far as their sights could reach. In the middle of Merry's deck Zoro laid on his back with arms and legs lazily spread out. His eye was half lidded and facing the grey sky.

"Zoro!" Luffy shouted loudly as he ran up to him. The shout caused only a twitch in his body.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt?" Chopper asked worriedly.

"We've been looking for you." Sanji said quietly.

"Why don't you answer us?" Nami asked with tears in her eyes.

"Zoro!" Luffy called again as he pulled him up to a sitting position and shook him. Zoro turned his head towards them and opened his eye wider.

"Why don't you just leave?" He asked them with a voice filled with defeat and sadness.

"What do you mean leave? We're not leaving without you!" Usopp said strongly.

"I don't want you here." Zoro said in a small voice.

"Please Zoro, don't be like this." Nami cried.

"You're not supposed to be here!" He replied back angrily, and as he did the crew noticed themselves becoming a bit more transparent. They easily understood that their time was almost up.

Robin sat down next to him and cupped his face with her hands and in a soft voice she said as she held his gaze. "Nakama, you're our nakama and no matter what your problems are we will help you. We love you Zoro please let us help you."

This caused a tear to roll down his cheek.

"Come on bro! Let's go eat some yummy food back on Sunny!" Franky encouraged.

"Zoro, we're all here for you." Brook said kindly without a trace of humor in his voice.

Seconds passed as Zoro looked at them from person to person and then without warning everything just cracked into billions of pieces and before they knew it they were back in the kitchen in the Sunny. They all woke up with a start and flew to their feet. Before them they could see the angry pixie.

"Damn it! He wasn't supposed to wake up!" It ranted before turning to dust.

They all stared a bit dazed at where the pixie had disappeared, Robin was the first to blink and then rush to Zoro's side, the others quickly followed.

It was very unnerving seeing him in almost the exact same position as he had been on the Merry. It took Luffy a few times of shaking him to get him to sit up.

"I... I..." He tried to say something but he just didn't know what. He was very much aware of what had happened and what they had seen, ashamed and violated were the feelings inside of him.

"Everyone, why don't you leave for a bit so that Sanji can continue cooking and so that Zoro and I can have a little talk." Chopper said in a very neutral tone.

As the crew looked at him they could see him in Doctor mode, feeling that they could trust him with their swordsman they all left with a happy 'see you later'.

"Come on Zoro, let's go to my office." Chopper said while waiting by the door. Stiffly Zoro stood up and made his way to the room with an expressionless face.

Sanji watched them go and let out a sigh. He then turned his eyes to the clock and his brows shot high up on his forehead. All that they had seen and only 5 minutes had passed. If all of that went through his head in 5 minutes then what was the swordsman experiencing under 24 hours. After having smoked a cigarette or three Sanji finally restarted his meal preparations.

With Chopper and Zoro...

They were seated in chairs opposite each other and let the silence hang between them for a bit before Chopper began to talk.

"How do you feel about it?" Chopper started asking.

"I'm angry."

"About us seeing that stuff or us going into your mind?"

There was a bit of silence before he answered. "Both."

"From what I saw Zoro, you're suffering from depression and that's a place that is very hard to get away from. We can't do anything about us seeing all that but what we can do is to make you feel better. I think the two us should talk for a bit in here every day after lunch and I will give you something to make you feel a bit happier. Is that ok?"

"I really don't care Chopper, I just want to go and take a nap."

"It's ok, you can go. We'll talk more tomorrow. Also Zoro you trust me right?" He asked in a much smaller voice.

Zoro couldn't help but give a soft smile before putting his large hand on Chopper's head and messing up his fur. "I trust you with my life." With that he exited the room only to be tackled by Luffy so that the both slammed into the wall.

"Lu..." Zoro started before stopping as he saw his captain's face burrowed into his shirt.

"Zoro thank you for being my nakama. You've done so many things for me and I never even knew. I'm going to be the best captain I can so that you won't be disappointed in me. To me you will always be the very strongest." Luffy continued embracing him in that awkward position on the deck until he felt Zoro's fingers trying to move him away.

"I've never regretted being your nakama sencho. I'm just going to go take a nap, wake me up when food is ready." Luffy watched him go and noticed the few tears running from his eye. He took a deep breath and then ran into the kitchen to bother Sanji about something to eat.

The entire crew knew that only because they had realized that something was wrong with their friend, it didn't mean it could be fixed immediately. Wounds need time to heal and with proper care from all of them and their little reindeer doctor, they were sure all Zoro's wounds would close up nicely.

END

**I found this story among a lot of unfinished work and thought of sharing it with you. Hope you liked it ^^**


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